I didn’t plan on writing something about Tiger Woods’ silly, sexist, juvenile joke with pal Justin Thomas on the Genesis Invitational final week. In spite of everything, lots of people have already written about it more eloquently than I will. For those who missed the second, Woods handed Thomas a tampon throughout the first spherical of the match, presumably as a touch upon Thomas’ play, presumably as a touch upon his character. Right here’s the video:
For me, one of the best half is Thomas disgustedly throwing the tampon to the bottom, as if Tiger had simply handed him a large cootie, moderately than, you already know, placing it in his bag for when some girl in his life finally wants it, however that’s neither right here nor there.
For all of the “ladies are superheroes!” and “ladies can do something!” advert campaigns that pop up across the time of the Olympics or any time the USWNT performs, there are an enormous variety of males on the market that don’t get what the large deal is. I do know this as a result of a good portion of them wound up in my infield this weekend, because of this tweet:
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Actually tweeted it and went on about my day. In spite of everything, ladies are used to seeing this silly joke time and again and over, usually by males with pics of their daughters of their social media profiles and #girldad of their bios. However let’s be clear, the joke is all the time “ladies are weaker and worse at sports activities and also you want a tampon since you are as weak as a lady.” That’s it. That’s the joke. There isn’t a different joke. Not when males joke {that a} pitcher has his interval, not when males joke {that a} quarterback wants some Vagisil, not when males rename groups the “ViQueens” or “CowGirls.” Ladies, and our perceived energy, are all the time, all the time the butt of the joke. Ironic, contemplating I haven’t seen a man but who could make it previous the “average” stage of cramps on the PMS simulator.
However I digress.
Males had been so moved by my tweet, that they despatched me tearful messages all week about how I had “actually made them suppose” about how they use language that denigrates ladies and the way sorry they’re, and the way cautious they’ll be transferring ahead.
Simply kidding, they really despatched me numerous messages like this:
“A little bit overly delicate and Woke concerning the Tiger Woods joke I see…have to be that point of month…”
And this:
“You a bitch”
And this:
“I’ll watch Tiger hand tampons to JT one million instances over earlier than I learn what you need to say about sports activities. 🤡”
And Tiger’s apology wasn’t significantly better, to be trustworthy:
“It was purported to be all enjoyable and video games and clearly it hasn’t turned out that means. If I offended anyone, it was not the case, it was simply pals having enjoyable. As I mentioned, if I offended anyone in any means, form, or kind, I’m sorry. It was not meant to be that means. It was simply we play pranks on each other on a regular basis and virally I believe this didn’t come throughout that means, however between us it was — it’s completely different.”
Okay, first off, you probably did offend folks — you offended an enormous variety of ladies. I don’t suppose that’s even up for debate. And I’m certain it is completely different. I’m certain the jokes males make are all the time completely different when ladies aren’t round to name them out on their sexist bullshit. You hit that like a lady, right here’s a tampon. You’re so emotional at this time, do you’ve your interval? Actually, if the joke is one thing completely different, please clarify it to me.
What actually struck me, although, concerning the variety of males who wrote to (screeched at?) me was what number of informed me I used to be flawed as a result of their daughter/spouse/girlfriend/sister additionally thought Tiger’s “joke” was humorous. And to be trustworthy, I don’t know any of those ladies. Possibly they did discover a grown man handing one other grown man a tampon as an indication of disrespect utterly hilarious. Possibly they’ve so internalized the sexism that girls swim in daily that she genuinely discovered it humorous. Or (extra possible) perhaps the man isn’t telling me the reality.
However right here’s the factor: Ladies realized way back to decide on their battles with regards to declaring sexism and misogyny. Some ladies have a lot of it to cope with at work or at house that, yeah, perhaps criticizing one of the well-known athletes on the planet for making a sexist joke was not on the prime of her precedence listing that day. And if there have been a person in my life that received so offended a couple of full stranger mildly criticizing Tiger Woods (who doesn’t want Chad from Oswego to defend him), that he instantly sits down and pens a message stuffed with insults and vitriol to the writer – yeah, I would snort it off, too. Keep away from the controversy. Keep away from the mansplaining and the “it’s not sexist” gaslighting. Is it even value it?
Tiger Woods’ lame try at humor issues as a result of it not solely demonstrates however reinforces, the concept that ladies are inferior to males. In sports activities. On the job. In a bar combat (or no matter measuring stick males use to find out their machoness). And girls being seen as inferior is how we wind up with ladies’s pro sports leagues that are underfunded and under-marketed. It’s how we wind up with ladies being informed they can’t show their bare arms on the ground of the Missouri state home. It’s how we discover ourselves in a spot the place ladies have lost control over their bodily autonomy in quite a lot of states. It’s how we find yourself fearing males are coming for our birth control next. It’s why we had the #MeToo motion and why so many males are comfy policing, harassing, and intimidating ladies. We don’t matter. We’re lesser. Ladies’s inferiority to males is on the root of all of it — be it a joke between pals or a complete political platform primarily based on it.
And both the lads who “have raised sturdy daughters” or are “#girldads” agree with calling out sexism in all its types, huge and small, joking or earnest, among the many well-known and not-so-famous, by males they admire and males they disdain — or they don’t.